Knowing what you Want
Knowing what you Want (March 1995)
It sounds obvious, but knowing what we want is the first and most important step in being able to have it. Our work with individuals over the years has shown that being able to recognize one's own desire is something that individuals continually struggle with.
One of the things that frightens many individuals in life is a person who knows what they want. It is a common sight to hear a note of criticism or resentment directed towards people who exhibit this knowledge in their own life. Not only people of prominence or especially assertive types, but in general, being assured about one's desires is regarded by many in society as ambitious, selfish, ruthless, egotistical etc etc. This list might well go on for some time. Of course there are those who seem to be the genuine article but in reality are not, perhaps being compulsive about appearing to be self-assured to others. Nonetheless there are those who are self-assured and desirous and who do express this frequently in the way that they live their life and in the things that they do. Being in the presence of these people may feel threatening but they can also be an inspiration. Being afraid of such people or feeling that if one was like this, society would pour scorn upon us, is a convenience rather than a reason for maintaining a sense of not knowing.
To be prepared to know what you want in life is a significant thing because it carries with it the implication that once acknowledged, you are committed to going after it. Some might think it safer not to know. This can hold an individual back in that it can really prevent a solid commitment to something more. It also follows, that if an individual needs to protect themselves from their own desires, that individual will also be required to know as little as possible about what other people want, especially perhaps a partner.
Being open to knowing what others want in life has as significant an implication as in one's own life. One way to become much more prepared to do this is to allow assertiveness and the expression of desire in all people one comes into contact with and to embrace this as inspiration for oneself. There is a great sense of joy to be had from being free to love life and to be able to express this love openly in the presence of others.
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